What is a youth
by Dear author
Summary: She was only a little girl with her pretty little head always on the clouds, fantasising about princes and the sweetest of romances. But it was only a matter of time for reality to come breaking all the glass walls she had built around herself and at the same time, herself as well. (AU)
1. Chapter 1

**Fanfiction presents;**

 **What is a youth?**

 **Prologue - The start of something new**

* * *

Ø Teenage pregnancy – never had she ever thought she'd experience such a thing but she guessed that it wouldn't be a surprise. After all, she was only a little girl with her pretty little head always on the clouds, fantasising about princes and the sweetest of romances. It was only a matter of time for reality to break all the glass walls she had built around herself and at the same time, her as well.

* * *

It all happened so fast. One moment, the love of her life was kissing her and then the next, they were kissing in her bedroom. For the first time, he showed so much gentleness with her. He told her she was _beautiful!_

Her hands has fisted; her nails digging into his back but didn't dare stop him or even utter a single sound of complain. He groaned. ''…You…okay?''

She opened her eyes and saw herself in his eyes. They burned. And her Irie-kun never looked so…open. The very sight of him made her feel warm and tingly. She nodded with a tight smile. ''Um.''

He gazed at her for a few moments before his eyes fell on her lips. His eyes closed shut as if in pain and then he kissed her again even more passionately than before. She bit her lip and she felt herself burn with him.

It was her Irie-kun and she _loved_ him. A small fire of hope was burning brightly at the back of her mind as she dreamed that _this_ was a start of something new; that Irie reciprocated her feelings after all!

Oh how wrong she was. Oh how much it hurt when he fell beside her, panting like he had just ran a marathon. She ached between her legs but she smiled, turning at her side, expecting that they'd cuddle like they do in the movies, that he'd grace her with a happy smile and tell her he loved her.

His swollen lips opened. His eyes were no longer warm as they uncharacteristically widen with _alarm –_ no, there was no point sugar coating this – Kotoko knew _fear_ when she sees it.

The feeling she felt at that moment was extraordinary. It felt as if a bucket of ice-cold water fell on her. Her heart broke – oh no, it _shattered_. And she felt it and heard it. It may have been her imagination but it was there. Her chest never hurt like that before and she swore she will feel no pain greater than that she felt then.

''Kotoko…I…'' the love of her life pulled himself up and dressed quickly. His movements was for once, ungraceful. He stopped by the door and shifted as if wanting to turn to face her but he didn't in the end. She was barely covered. He mumbled something that sounded like an apology but Kotoko can't hear much over the loud furious beating of her heart.

She had stumbled out of her bed, finally noticing the remnants of their lovemak—sex –around her inner thighs and on her bed. She dipped her hand and stared blankly at the strange fluids.

' _What's happening?'_

' _What happened?'_

 _'_ _Oh God…D-daddy… Oh God…The sheets! W-what…What do I do?!'_

Kotoko remembered removing her bloodied sheets while she trembled all over, looking over her shoulder time to time, scared that her auntie would suddenly burst into her room and find her in that state. Then the next day when everyone was busy doing their own thing, she sneaked out and dumped her bag of evidences into their neighbour's bin a few houses down the road.

He never approached her after that and she was too shocked at what they did. He was quiet and she was silent. He didn't utter a single word towards her while everyday she forced herself to look normal and answer the small inquiries thrown at her. Everyone noticed and assumed they were fighting again. She had sinned. She had brought dishonour to her father. If her dad knew…

The consequences of what she did came knocking at her glass walls when she started feeling sick. She was in a daze the past week (or weeks, she can't exactly remember). She still went to school and sat with her friends. But she only realised the consequences of what she did when she happened to glimpse at a heavily pregnant woman outside the café she and her friends were sitting at.

Her whole body stiffened and she wanted to rush into the nearest clinic. _Get rid of it…She had to…_

''Kotoko…are you really okay?'' Jinko asked, placing a tentative hand on her arm. ''We know there's something wrong but we can't wait for you to open up anymore. Please tell us?''

When Kotoko finally _looked_ into her best friend's eyes, that's when Jinko knew that whatever Kotoko's problem was, it was _horrendously big_. Jinko and Satomi shared a worried look.

''…Jinko…Satomi…''

They gulped, shuffling closer towards their friend. Satomi held her friend's hand and squeezed. She had never seen her best friend like this. Kotoko, her bright and energetic best friend never looked so _drained_ and so _small_ before.

The air around them was heavy. It was stifling and crackling with tension and they knew it was going to explode soon. But they were going to stay. Whatever it was. They were going to stay with Kotoko.

''…Kotoko.'' Jinko said, having the same thoughts as Satomi. She glanced up and saw a waiter looking intent to come to their table. She minutely shook her head at him and he immediately spun on his heel and walked away.

''…Jinko.'' Kotoko choked out, her shoulders slumped and started to shake. She pulled her hand from Satomi and clasped them around her trembling mouth. ''Satomi…''

''Kotoko. What is it?''

''…Kotoko.''

Jinko and Satomi felt like they were going to cry already. She looked up; eyes big, scared and lost.

She told them that Kin proposed to her. She told them that Irie Naoki had decided to cancel his engagement with Matsumoto. She told them that his father was recovering and everything went back to normal in the Irie household.

Then, she told them how it hurt. She told them how hard it was to remain as normal as she can. She told them she disposed all evidences of her sin. She told them she got rid of everything. Everything.

But then her dainty hands fell on her stomach and she didn't have to say it.

'' _Help me,''_ she said anyway amidst her crying. ' _'_ _Please_ _help me.''_

* * *

AN: Any suggestions? I need to do some work but damn, I needed to write this one down. I want this as realistic as possible. And although I have the general idea of what I want is going to happen, I'm open for suggestions. Rated T for now but may rise up. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Fanfiction presents...**

 **What is a youth**

 **Chapter 1 – The Consequence; a mother's love**

* * *

Kotoko's hands were fast and efficient as she scrubbed the suds off the plates. Outside, the morning was bright and happy. It pulled a happy smile on her red-lips. Wiping her hands with a towel, she grabbed her suit and pulled it on, eyes focused upstairs. She looked down on her left wrist where her watch was clasped.

''Hiro, sweetie! Come down now, please! The bus should be coming down soon!'' She called out. Immediately, the footsteps sounded from above, coming closer.

''Yes, mum!'' Kotoko paused, closing her eyes at the sound of her son's eager voice. It was the start of his school and like all children, he was excited to start. It wouldn't be like this for long though. Soon enough, her son would be a nightmare in the mornings. She continued clasping her shoes' strap around her ankle and then proceeded into doing the same to her other feet. Meanwhile, Hiro was running down the steps.

''Not too loud, hon. Mr Potts is downstairs, remember? We don't want to wake him up in case he's still asleep.'' She scolded softly.

''Mr. Potts' awake early, mum. He gets up at six!''

She smiled and stood up, secretly loving the way her four-inched heels made her taller and more confident. She loved working at the reception of Kobe's local hospital. The paperworks may be repetitive and the day can be slow at times, yes, but it was a job that paid.

 _Thank you, Mr. Potts,_ she thought about the retired doctor downstairs of their flat. Without the grumpy old man, she may still be juggling two or three housekeeping and random jobs at the same time. Without his kindness, she doesn't know where she and her son would be.

''Mum!'' Kotoko was jerked out of her reverie. She smiled down and kneeled in front of her son, caressing his chubby cheeks just _because_ she can. Not able to stop herself, she kissed both his cheeks and nuzzled his neck, sniffing his baby cologne. Her son chuckled, ticklish.

''Hm! My baby smells soooo gooood!'' she wrapped her arms around her boy who giggled. Unlike his father, Hiro was a sweetling, shy and an affectionate boy. Kotoko froze one second before she pulled herself altogether again. ''You excited for school, baby?''

''…'m not a baby!'' her son muttered but she saw the shine in his eyes and the smile on his lips.

 _So sweet, my baby boy…_

Kotoko just smiled and pushed her son straight. She pulled at her son's uniform, straightening and brushing away the invisible dust and wrinkle. ''Right, my love. The bus will pick you up in the mornings at 8:30 sharp. You'll attend the club everyday with Miss Shoko. It should be fun! I think you'll be baking today. Then at 5:45, I'll pick you up, okay?'' She said to her son, looking at him straight in his big brown eyes (the same eyes she had adored and loved throughout her high school) to make her point. She finishes at 5:30 and has to ride the 5:40 bus. She should arrive just on time. The teachers were kind enough to let Hiro stay until 5:45 since they don't really finish before half-past six. ''Wait for mummy, okay?''

Hiro nodded. Kotoko smiled and caressed his downy hair – short and brown. Kotoko was glad it was a different hairstyle than his father. Though, at this age, her son looked more like Yuki instead. She bit her lip and pressed a lingering kiss on his forehead.

''If you ever get lost?''

''Stay where I am and wait for mummy. Don't follow strangers and don't look lost.'' Kotoko chuckled. She picked her son's id and the pointed her written number on the laminated i.d.

''This is mummy's number and where's your phone?''

''It's on silent in my bag, mummy.''

''Good. But remember son, do not use your phone in school! You know how much work I needed to do to persuade your teachers to let you bring it! It's only for emergencies!'' After all, mothers don't usually give phones – no matter how cheap – to their 5 year old sons. But Kotoko loves her son very much. She can't imagine what she'd do if he gets somehow lost or in need of her help and she wasn't there.

Perhaps it was her mother instinct that pushed her to think of every situation that could happen and the extra precautions she could do to counter them. She loves her son very much. He was her light. Her love. Her everything. There was _nothing_ in the world that she wouldn't do for him. _Now, if only she could afford a tracker as well…_

Hiro nodded.

''Inhaler?''

''Right pocket!''

Kotoko felt for the device and indeed it was in his right pocket. ''Okay, don't play too hard. And make sure you have your inhaler with you _at all times!_ Especially at lunchbreak and PE – wait, do you have PE today?'

''Yes mum! No mum! '' Hiro yelled and skipped towards the closed door. ''Mum, come on! Let's wait for the bus downstairs!''

''What do you mean yes and no mum? Do you have PE, honey?'' Hiro sighed and shook his head, tapping his foot in impatience. ''Okay, okay…Hang on.'' She grabbed her bag and strutted towards the kitchen to check if everything was off.

 _Tap, lights, stove, oven, doors locked, windows closed._

''Honey, did you turn off the lights upstairs?''

Hiro nodded eagerly, bouncing excitedly on his feet.

''Taps?''

''Yup! Come on, mummy!'' he pouted, making his mother chuckle.

''Yes. Yes, sweetie, coming.''

She locked their door and looked over her shoulder. ''Hiro! Careful on the stairs—'' she clamped her lips shut and looked around. She had forgotten of their neighbours.

''Yes mum!—Ack!''

Kotoko nearly dropped her keys and after double checking the door was locked, she ran as fast and carefully as she can towards her son.

''I'm okay!''

Kotoko softened. ''Hiro, baby. Always be careful please!'' she preached as she walked down the stairs with her black heels. Her son was already dusting himself and grinning wildly at her. It was a little odd at first, to see _his_ eyes shining and so full of innocent joy in her son's face. Not even Yuki smiled like that. It made her very happy that her Hiro was different from those two boys. They could be a little bit rude and mean sometimes although she knew they meant well.

No, her Hiro was perfect and she'd do everything that he'd grow up as a wonderful adult.

The tenement they live in was located in the countryside of Kobe. The building was made of red-brick stone and surrounded by copses of trees and bushes. The rent was affordable and the apartment was simple.

For once in her life, Kotoko's life was perfect. She had a beautiful son, a nice warm home, some friend she could trust and a regular paid job. Mr. Potts, unsmiling as he was, was caring deep down that he had 'grudgingly' (according to him) had to help her with budgeting since at first, she was awful at it. Her friends aside from Mr. Potts – Lori, being the closest to her, was another mom she met in day-care who still occasionally help her babysit her Hiro along with her daughter. Her colleagues and manager at her workplace were very understanding of her predicament too.

Everything was going well for her. Even her pa visits every weekend – sometimes a fortnight when it gets too busy. He had also kept his word that he won't tell the Iries about her - just that she was living her life happily in Kyoto - not Kobe, just in case Noriko Irie decides to hunt her down.

* * *

 _'_ _You want me to enter a loveless marriage, pa?'_

 _'_ _This is…this is…KOTOKO!_ '

' _I WILL RAISE HIM UP PA! YES, HE'S THE FATHER AND THEY DESERVE TO KNOW BUT PLEASE, PA! CAN'T YOU SEE? I NEED TO…I NEED TO GET AWAY! I NEED TO FIND MYSELF! Gain my bearings and if you tell them, you'd rob me of that chance. He's no good…no good for me, and YOU KNOW IT! Please pa, help…help…help me…'_

* * *

The white school bus beeped and pulled over at their side of the road.

''Hiro!'' The other children called. Her son's smile widened to an excited grin and he seemed to have developed a permanent bounce on his feet. Kotoko wished his happiness would never dim.

 _Just like hers had._

''Mum?''

Kotoko crouched to bring them at eye to eye. ''I love you, my Hiro, my love.''

His cheeks grew pink. ''…love you too, mummy.'' Her smile widened to a teasing one and she tickled his tummy a little before kissing his forehead, smelling her child's heavenly scent. Together, they approached the bus. She smiled at the driver and gave him a quick wave.

Hiro gave her hand a little squeeze before he jumped in and ran inside. A chorus of children laughs and calls sounded. ''Please drive safely, Mr. Ino!''

The driver gave a thumbs-up. ''You got it, missy!''

Kotoko blew her son a kiss and waved until the bus was out of sight. Then, with a happy sigh, she called for a taxi and waited.

* * *

AN: I just think that she wouldn't be able to really afford a car, you know. Also, some of the details here may be incorrect but I can't really be bothered to watch the whole series ever again - because I want to strangle Naoki and Kotoko sometimes. Hopefully, in this fanfic, we get a more mature and level-headed Kotoko.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2 – Mother's love**

* * *

Kotoko sighed as she ignored the growing ache in her feet. Her black stilettoes clacked steadily against the plain blue marbled floor while behind her three new junior doctors followed her. She pasted a bright polite smile on her face and glanced over her shoulder.

''That is the way towards the paediatrics ward.'' She said, pointing at the closed double doors. ''You'll need your ids to enter. I'm pretty sure Dr. Nick would provide you with one.''

The one with the messy mass of black hair stepped forwards and nervously brandished his. Kotoko smiled and took the proffered id. With a click, the door relaxed and she pushed in. ''Dr. Nick's office is just this way.'' She announced as they stopped in front of another door labelled with the doctor's name. She knocked.

''Come in,'' was the muffled reply.

Dr. Nick was seated in his office with another young man in front of his desk. They paused and smiled amiably as she entered.

''So sorry to disturb sir, but you've got three more students here.''

''Oho!'' Dr. Nick patted his mahogany desk which was littered with books and lots of papers. He stood up and walked towards them. He was a smiling man in his late 50s, good natured with a 'fatherly' aura. Kotoko stepped in and beckoned the boys inside. ''Oh man, Mr. Soham, isn't?'' the doctor shook every one of his new students' hand whilst the boys looked very pleased and surprised that he knew them. The doctor was obviously one of the few people who learn and remember the names and faces of the people he has seen or met.

Good man.

Dr. Nick turned to her with a true smile. ''Been busy, Miss Aihara?''

''It's been a _looong_ day, sir.'' She replied with a grin.

''It has, dear. Is your shift ending soon?''

She glanced down at her watch- 5 o'clock – and nodded. ''Yes sir.''

''Good. Good. Say hi to Hiro-kun for me.''

She beamed at the mention of her son. '' Of course, sir. I'll take my leave then sir, enjoy the rest of your day.''

''Thank you, dear!'' he waved, turning his attention back to the boys.

With a small bow, she let herself out and strode off back to reception. No doubt, her colleague would be loaded with work already.

Kobe's local hospital has been pretty busy with paper works and new students. But to be honest, she was glad that it was this way. She'd really rather be busy because of this than because of a mass accident somewhere. So far, she and her colleague in reception has been balancing phone calls, emails, patients and visitors the whole day and they were getting very tired. There was even so little time to have a lunch break!

Kotoko thought of household bills, of food and of the smiling face of her son. Just like that, she felt a rush of energy. She tilted her chin up with a more genuine smile, her heels clacked faster against the floor. She had 30 minutes left of duty and soon, she'll see her Hiro again.

* * *

Kotoko flung her coat around her and grabbed her bag from her locker. ''See you tomorrow, Dara.'' She says as she passed her friend who was re-touching her lipstick.

''Oh, okay! See ya.'' Dara replied and Kotoko glanced over her shoulder to smile at her, her feet not faltering. She had to hurry if she didn't want to miss her bus. She had 5 minutes…

''—Kotoko!'' She looked up but didn't stop her descent down the stairs.

With an apologetic smile, ''Oh, Mr. Ayano, I'm sorry but I'm in a hurry!'' She reached the next flight of stairs and repeatedly apologized at the doctor in her head.

''Kotoko! Wait!''

Despite her need to leave, Kotoko had to stop. The young doctor re-emerged and met her eyes as he jogged down the stairs to catch up with her. She noticed that he was not in his lab-coat and that he had his bag with him.

''Kotoko, are you going to pick up Hiro-kun?''

Kotoko bounced at her feet, trying to control her urge to bolt off.

' _My bus…My bus….Maybe I should just book a taxi but that would take some waiting…'_

Kotoko stiffened as a hand reached out and tucked a stray red hair behind her ear. In her haste, her hair bun had loosened. She blinked, trying to read the man's thoughts but she had always been bad at reading people's thoughts. Unlike Irie—

''Let me give you a ride, Kotoko.''

She shook her head – her usual reaction – and started to step back. ''I couldn't…Oh, I wouldn't want to impose on you…''

Again, the young doctor reached out to her but this time with more force. He pulled her back with a frown. His brown eyes darkening. ''Kotoko. Be careful!'' Kotoko looked over her shoulder and bit her lip. She had forgotten the stairs. If she had fallen, she wouldn't be able to pick up Hiro. He'd be waiting for his mother… Kotoko glanced at her watch and already desperate, she looked up at her friend.

''I'm sorry, Dr. Ayano, please, I think I'll need a ride…If you don't mind, please can you—'' A gentle hand touched her arm.

''I already offered, Kotoko. Of course, I'll give you a ride.'' He said smoothly. ''About time you accept, actually.'' He added with a slight teasing tone.

She laughed nervously and let the man guide her down the stairs. He was being too slow that Kotoko pulled her hand away from his arm to hurry down the steps. ''I'm sorry, Dr. Ayano. Please, can we hurry? I'm afraid of traffic!'' She looked up apologetically.

The young man just laughed but didn't move. ''Only if you stop calling me Dr. Ayano. Seriously, Kotoko, you know it makes me feel old and I'm not really a doctor yet, remember?''

If she wasn't such in a state of stress, she would've fidgeted and blushed like a school girl. Still, her cheeks still reddened a little and she bowed in apology. With a small handsome smile, the young doctor started jogging the stairs. ''Come on then, Kotoko. Hiro-kun is waiting for us.'' He said as he passed her.

Kotoko breathed in relief and followed her friend to his car.

* * *

Kotoko smiled at her friend as soon as the car stopped. Her hand clutched the lever at the door, ready to open it. ''Thank you for the ride, Mika-san. I really appreciate it. I really must be going now though. Hiro must be so impatient already.'' She rushed out, smiling nervously. 20 years old and she still felt uncomfortable in the presence of men.

Especially handsome ones.

The man opened his mouth but as fast as lightning, Kotoko opened the door and slipped out into the approaching dusk. With a last wave, Kotoko smilingly waved at the young man before she half-ran, half-strutted towards the nursery.

The young doctor sighed and slumped in his seat, watching the woman's silhouette disappear. He debated for a while whether to wait for the mother and son or not. But after 10 minutes and the two hasn't appeared yet, Mica sighed once again and with a disappointed frown, moved off.

''Hello!'' Kotoko smiled at the first teacher she saw who also smiled and greeted her back. She glanced down at her watch and found that she was 5 minutes early than the usual time she picks up her son. Nevertheless, Hiro was still the last one in the nursery. Kotoko reached out and patted the teacher's arm, making her know how thankful she was. ''Thank you so much for looking after him.''

The teacher smiled, seemingly touched. ''Ms. Kotoko, it is our job and Hiro's such a delight in the class and he's very smart!'' the teacher nodded, emphasising the last part.

Kotoko felt proud first, of course. Any mother would. But as soon as her eyes fell on her son who appeared busy writing on his notebook with a familiar focused look on his face, she felt a familiar sting deep in her heart.

The teacher looked once at the young mother and then with an understanding smile, she called out, ''Hiro-kun!'' the boy looked up from his work and then his hazel eyes - unfocused and dull from all the work he busied himself doing, lit up as soon as he saw his mother. The young boy grinned and stood up.

''Mummy!'' he exclaimed and then proceeded on packing up all his stuff right away. Kotoko smiled ruefully at the sight. She glanced at the teacher and excused herself.

As she neared her son, she laid a hand on his mass of curly hair to stop his careless packing. Her poor boy was rushing to pack all his things up. Kotoko knew why and it hurt that she had to leave her son in the club until this time. Childminders would be an ideal alternative to the clubs but they were ridiculously more expensive.

His classmates were all older for a year or two. Children need more sleep and Kotoko was worried he might not be getting enough for his growth. He sleeps at 18:15 then wakes at 7:16 but still, Kotoko feels it wasn't enough. He should sleep in the day too but…

''Slowly, my love. We're not in a rush. Here. Mum will help.'' She told him softly before laying a kiss on his temple, smelling his day's sweat.

''Sorry, mommy.'' He murmured, suddenly shy. Kotoko kissed him again as response and then pulled the stacks of rumpled papers from his backpack. She piled his papers neatly before slipping them in his folder. She'd have to arrange them appropriately when they get home. Then, she took his notebook and then handed it to him. With a sunny smile, her son calmly tucked it in his bag followed by his folder. As soon as he zipped the bag up, he looked up expectantly at her.

Kotoko granted him another proud smile before petting his downy hair. ''Hm…I think you need a haircut, baby.'' She said and the young boy picked a lock of his hair and examined it. She turned to the three teachers and bowed at each of them. Behind her, Hiro stopped his efforts on putting on his coat and copied his mother. ''Thank you so much, teachers. We'll be going now.''

''Ah, you're welcome, Miss Kotoko!'' said the head teacher, approaching her. ''Hiro's such a nice boy!'' she said and then stopped in front of her. Then, at a lower voice, she continued. ''Miss Kotoko, I'd like to talk to you sometime…'' Kotoko frowned, worried. ''Oh no, it's nothing to be worried about. It's just…we were thinking of accelerating Hiro to Year 1 this year. We really believe that he could go straight there.'' Kotoko nodded slowly before smiling.

''Of course, Mrs. Chen. I will call on you to book an appointment. Is this okay?''

The older woman nodded and then waved at Hiro. ''Okay! Bye now, Hiro! See you tomorrow!''

Hiro gave a small tired smile before reaching for his mother's hand. He already finished putting on his coat and then his Ironman backpack around his shoulders whilst his mum and Mrs. Chen were whispering to each other.

As soon as the two left the nursery room after a lot of goodbyes and waving, his mother stopped them near one of the benches and then pulled out her phone. ''I'll just call on a taxi hon. Okay?'' Tired, Hiro nodded and then leaned his head on his mother's thigh with a sigh. Kotoko smiled sadly and then sat on the bench, scooping her son to her lap. Then she pulled the boy's head to rest on her shoulder.

Kotoko dialled the taxi. ''…Oh. Yes. Yes, please, as soon as possible, please. Thank you.'' She turned off her phone and thought of Dr. Ayano, wondering if he was still in the car park. But he didn't say anything about that so Kotoko removed it from her head. ''It might take a little bit of time, my love. Mommy's sorry.''

''Not your fault, mum.'' He replied, nuzzling her neck. His tiny hand fisting on her blouse. ''It's the traffic.'' He added, knowingly.

If only she could drive. If only she could afford the driving lessons and a car...

''Are you tired?'' She asked, almost reluctantly. Her heart broke when he nodded, pressing himself closer to her. ''We'll be home soon.'' She cooed, running her hands through his hair. ''Do you want pizza for tonight?''

As if suddenly electrocuted, her son jumped on her lap, surprising even her. ''YES! Yes, please mum! Oh, pepperoni and meatballs! And can I have black juice too!? Please!'' Kotoko chuckled, beaming back at her son.

''Black juice is bad for you, honey.'' She softly denied him. Coke was bad for the health and the last thing she wanted was an overactive Hiro before bed. ''We'll have a berry smoothie instead, okay?'' Hiro pouted. ''You love smoothies, don't you?'' In the end, the boy nodded. ''Good boy.''

Hiro glowed at the praise before he snuggled back to his mother's chest. Together, the mother and son waited. His mother hugging him tightly to keep away the cold night air.

* * *

 **AN** : Thank you for all the reviews! Please keep them going. A writer always wants to know what her readers think! So, how do you think they will all meet up again?!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 3 – FATHER**

 **''His most beautiful memory started when he first held her in his arms.''**

* * *

Shigeo Aihara was a man of honour and aside from his career as a chef and of course, his wife (may her beautiful soul rest in peace and wait for him) his beloved daughter was his most treasured gem in the whole world. His most beautiful memory started when he held her in his arms as a tiny bundle of joy. Back then, he thought marrying the love of his life was the greatest gift he could ever receive. He was wrong, he admitted to his wife. She gave him the greatest gift.

Like all fathers like him, he was born and raised, knowing how to respect women. He opened doors for the ladies, maintained a proper distance, never crossed the boundary, never raised a hand, a voice, not even a pinkie to any woman – not his beloved wife, not even his daughter. Knowing other men could and can do it, not even for the life of him, would he ever listen to any excuse. A man who raises a hand to his woman is no man, is what he believes. A man like that does not know how to be a man; therefore he can't be called one. Does not deserve it. Never.

That is why, he cannot even look at _that_ boy without wanting, bless his soul, to kill him. He respected them – the Iries. His best friend…while of course, he had not done him or his daughter any wrong, failed him. Failed him through that boy he calls 'son'. That boy he so boastfully tells everyone about – tells _him_ about. The boy genius, handsome, talented, rich.

That boy who hurt – _oh no_ – the boy who mutilated his daughter.

Others would say he over-exaggerates.

But if you are a father and you see your only daughter – so sweet, so kind, so trusting – grow thin and weak as she insisted to carry her first born child, perhaps you would understand.

If you have a daughter and you listen to her scream ' _Papa'_ in the birth room, tell you ' _it hurts_ ' and you sit there embracing her as if by doing so you could absorb all her pain, perhaps you would.

He kissed her on the temple then, holding her hand, telling her she was going to be alright, silently fearing that she too will leave him like her mother did. Then he was unable to speak when the doctor explained to him they would need to cut her up to get the baby out.

As if all her pain was not enough, they still had to cut his daughter and leave a permanent scar for her to see for the rest of her life.

So yes. As a father, a _papa_ , he would never forgive them. Even now when he remembers it, when he sees them, fire burns in his chest and stings his eyes. He'd grit his teeth, covering his wrath with a smile.

 _No, he was busy that day; no, he couldn't meet up; no, he couldn't come_ – the lies he tells. _Yes, my daughter is fine; Yes, she is settled well; Yes, she is busy_ –the truths.

He was an honourable man but for his daughter, he was willing to help her rid of the child. _Murder_ , others would tell him. _Murder_ , his conscience would scream. But it does not matter if his daughter's life was on the line. He was willing to throw away the ideals and the beliefs he grew up believing so long the person who loses her life was not his daughter.

But when he told her, she closed her eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks as she shook her head. He told her it was fine, that no one would judge her for it, that her life and well-being was more important than anything else, that her this is her life too and so she should have a say of how to go about it. He assured her the clinic was safe, the doctors accredited, they could afford it.

But her lips were pressed into a thin line, no doubt to stop herself from sobbing; She was clutching her small stomach where he assumed the baby would be.

He was ready to throw away his values but his daughter was not. He taught her well.

Too well.

He would admit this to no one. He would never say this out loud. But as his daughter grew thinner and weaker as her stomach grew bigger and bigger, he was half-believing that the devil himself had leeched himself inside her, eating away her spirit. No matter how much he fed her, nothing stuck.

But his daughter refused to abort. Instead, she'd smiled at him and took his hand to place it on her inflated stomach. So she could feel her baby boy _kick_. Then, her eyes would light up in tears and she'd laugh. Just like her mother did.

So, he had to make sure everything was taken care of. He had to make sure. He called her doctors regularly, asking them repeatedly how his daughter was doing. How is her health, which medications would be safe for her, vitamins, supplements and apparently, raspberry tea would help with delivery. The last part was a friendly advice from one of his older customers. _She had five boys_ , she said, _all grown up_ and she told him the tea would help a woman deliver smoothly.

He found later that it didn't matter how many teas he sent her to drink. The baby had his head positioned in a wrong way. The little chit moved at the last minute. They would need to cut his daughter whether he or she liked it or not.

Meanwhile, the boy graduated high school at the top of his class and currently ' _engaged'_ with some foreign blonde woman.

A forever later, while he was recounting his daughter's childhood in his mind, he was handed a pink baby boy with a tuft of brown hair on top of his head, perfectly healthy, weighing 5.0 pounds.

 _Hiro_ , she called him. Shigeo smiled and repeated the name, tears in his eyes as he watched her fall into a deep sleep, exhausted and loaded with medications; her stomach freshly stitched up.

 _Hiro_ , she called him so lovingly. _Hiro_ , he called him too, cradling the boy carefully to his chest like he once had done before. _Hiro_ , he cried as he silently mourned the loss of _his baby girl_.

* * *

AN: I seriously just made myself cry. How are you guys? This is ALL about Shigeo's thoughts. What do you think? Short, I know but think of this like an interlude of some sort.

About their ages, I'm thinking of making Kotoko become pregnant at 15/16. She's 20 now at this fanfic. I have no idea how to settle the timelines, I'm just writing and it's been so so long since I've watched the series and watching it again is a pain. Maybe you could give me some suggestions; what you want to happen, some scenes, you know, gimme some ideas! I definitely want to meet her 'friends' from nursing school. They were nice and funny and all but a bit unhelpful, right? The only one who seemed to act like a true friend was that guy who fell for her. I'm very happy that all of you have your game face on seeing a more mature Kotoko and a...Naoki. I'm currently very hyped about this story, getting some of ideas! Thanks, everyone!


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